New Member of Our Family

I'd like to introduce you to another member of our family! He's lived here awhile, but I am just now realizing that he really does exist.
Yep, it's Mr. Nobody. His nickname is Not Me!

Mr. Nobody

I know a funny little man,

As quiet as a mouse,

Who does the mischief that is done

In everybody’s house!

No one ever sees his face,

And yet we all agree

That every plate we break was cracked

By Mr. Nobody.

It's he who always tears our books,

Who leaves the door ajar;

He pulls the buttons from our shirts

And scatters pins afar.

That squeaking door will always squeak.

But why? Oh, don't you see?

We leave the oiling to be done

By Mr. Nobody.

He puts damp wood upon the fire
And makes us greater toil;
His are the feet that bring in mud
And all the carpets soil.
The papers always are mislaid -
Who had them last but he?
There's no one tosses them about
But Mr. Nobody.

The finger marks upon the door

By none of us are made;

We never leave the blinds unclosed,

To let the curtains fade;

The paint we never spill;
The shoes that lying round you see

Are not our shoes,—they all belong

To Mr. Nobody.

Author Unknown